As some may know… our six month old daughter Greta is a bit of diva when it comes to sleeping. She has demands which include having me lay with her in my arms on my left side with a bottle until she falls asleep and spills large amounts of formula all over our sheets. She then allows me to transfer her to the Fisher Price Rock n’ Play in which she sleeps for two hour intervals. The cycle repeats through out the night, unless I try to put her in the arms reach co-sleeper, in which she immediately throws her legs straight up in the air when placed on her back and wakes from a deep sleep to cry for her mother to again assume the position of falling back to sleep with her nose in my armpit.

I know it’s my own fault. And that I should have not gotten into the habit of pulling her into bed with me, letting her sleep in the rock n’ play. Blah blah blah. I followed all the rules with Nolan. He was in his crib at 2 weeks. Emmitt, was in a crib at 4 months. And here we are with Greta. She was the fussiest of babies for the first two months. I didn’t care what I had to do as long as she slept. Then I just got into the routine. And I honestly didn’t mind the snuggle time at night, because the poor girl doesn’t get enough attention during the day when I have more pressing needs like a 2 year old playing in the toilet and a 4 year old climbing up shelves.

So, I had to find a way to get her to sleep by herself in a crib (or co-sleeper with the mattress lowered like a pack n’ play). I decided I was going to sleep train her while Steve was away on business last weekend. And then I saw an article posted on facebook by a friend from high school about Baby Merlin’s Magic Sleep Suit. She raved about it and then after reading the article I thought I would give it a try. The inventor of a product was just a regular mom who was trying to improve her own child’s habits…and I love supporting the regular mom!

The suit was available at Isis for $40. And I thought, hmmmm $40 to get my kid to sleep. It’s worth it. Well, worth it if it actually works. I got her ready for a nap that afternoon by changing her diaper, putting her in a onsie and then zipping her up in the suit. She looked like the kid from a Christmas Story. (reminds me of the best description from that movie of Randy in his snowsuit “My brother looked like a tick about to pop”) I gave her a bottle. She dozed off and I gingerly put her in down in the co-sleeper, just waiting for her to flail and wake up like she always does. But. She. Didn’t. She slept for 2 hours. First time she has ever slept flat on her back. First time alone in a crib-type setting.

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When it came time for bedtime she slept from 8-10 pm then woke up screaming. I knew she wasn’t hungry because she had only eaten 2 hours ago. So, I comforted her, then made her cry it out. And then she slept until 5 am! Woot. Woot. Basically tells me that she can sleep through the night if need be, since she didn’t need to eat from 8-5. (sadly, Emmitt still wakes up between 3 – 4 am every morning looking to eat… but that is another story for another day, let’s focus on the small victories with Greta).

Since then she has slept every night in her co-sleeper. She still wakes up 1,2, sometimes 3 or 4 times a night. But, she is sleeping on her own. And I have more room in bed! Yay! Now, if we can just feberize Franny, get Emmitt to sleep through the night, have Nolan sleep past 6 am… I just might get a normal nights sleep. (honestly, I don’t think my body would know what to do with a full night’s sleep. I have completely adjusted to this routine. And I don’t feel tired?)

Alright, I am exhausted. I’m going to bed : )

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I was watching this show on Bravo (I think) the other day… and I cannot believe MILLIONAIRES, or wait, BILLIONAIRES… trust the sale of their home to this guy.

Evan Almighty Movie Premiere - Arrivals

Chad Rogers

The kid looks like a 15 year old knock off of Justin Bieber and he is making insane commissions on Million Dollar Listing. I figured he was like 20 years old and got the job through his dad or something. After a little research, I find out he is 2 years older than me! And according to his website he is pretty darn good at his job and well respected among his peers. Maybe I shouldn’t judge a book by it’s cover. Check this out…

“Since the start of his career, Rogers has built and maintained a reputation among power-player clientele, including professional athletes, celebrities and high-ranking business officials while working for Rick Hilton and Jeff Hyland at the prestigious Hilton & Hyland real estate brokerage. In 2010, he had a record breaking year in which he sold more than $80 million worth of homes. This number includes the sale of the highest publicly priced MLS listing of all of Los Angeles County. The listing closed at $23.5 million on Dec. 15, 2010.”

And if I look at it from a client’s perspective, it couldn’t hurt to have cameras following your realtor around and showcasing your home on national television. It has to guarantee a sale at some point!

Kim Kardashian’s best friend is this guy… 

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Isn’t that interesting? I wonder how they met? What do they have in common? He just seems…. ehhhhh.

I’m constantly asking myself that question… Is that still cool? Is she still cool? Is he still cool? I read OK magazine. I’m hip with the times. And I’m pretty sure Shaun White was cool in like 2006, right? But standing at the checkout line today I notice the flying tomato has an endorsement deal with Stride gum. I guess he’s still cool, maybe…

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I guess my gauge of “what’s hot & what’s not” is off… So here’s a list for you to decide:
The Olsen Twins
Tom Cruise
Adam Levine
Labradoodles
The Red Sox

Our occasional babysitter, Shawna B. bought a real Monster Truck! Why would a girl who is a senior in college want a monster truck? Hmmm, so she can be called the coolest babysitter ever!

I had Shawna in American Literature back in the day. She bought Nolan his first outfit when I was pregnant, I’ll never forget… A little blue sweatsuit with whales on it! Now four years later the boys know her well.

As a surprise on Friday, Shawna pulled up in her aqua truck to let the boys climb inside & honk the horn. She even let Nolan go for a ride around the block in a booster seat… And he tried to talk her into bringing him to the supermarket (of all places?)

I uses the surprise visit as a behavior modification tool all day leading up to her visit. Threats like “oh, I’m going to text Shawna and tell her she can’t bring the surprise over…” worked in my favor all day.

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I can’t tell you how much I love this song. I was trying to hold out and post this video on a Friday… you know, so I could be like “baby it’s the freakin’ weekend ’bout to have me some fun!” But, then I remembered I am a mother of three kids. And my husband is going away. So the freakin’ weekend is about to have me some work.

As always I need to share some observations about this song. First, I think Nick Cannon is the DJ in the club. I’m thinking it was before he starred in Drumline, the single best movie on VH1. I can’t pass that movie up when it is on. I wish I played the drums so bad! 

I love that he is wearing blinged out Celtics stuff. 

At one point in the song he sings “We got food everywhere as if it was catered.” So, this huge party was not catered? Like it was a potluck party… R. Kelly brought a casserole to this bash? They have Crystal poppin, but it people brought their own apps? Is that right?

What is with the white guy dancing cameo. They do this huge dramatic pause with this dorky white guy in the middle of a dance circle and you think… “Oh, man this kid is going to bust a move! He is going to pop & lock or something!” But, no. He is a horrible dancer. He dances like a dorky white guy. 

Also I love the random 360 degree camera rotation showing R. Kelly’s amazing braids… even though the song specifically says that she runs her hands through his fro. Let’s get on the same page here!

I know that R. Kelly is a complete weirdo and creep. But, I love this song. And you know what I love even better? R. Kelly’s Rap Opera – Trapped in Closet. This never ending song/video has 33 chapters of rapping insanity about cheating lovers. It should be on broadway. The acting is… well, you just have to see it for yourself. I’ll have to devote a whole other post to my reflections on this one. Until then… check out chapter 1.

 

Here are some recent conversations with my kids.

For the third time in one day…
Me – “Emmitt, did you poop?”
Emmitt – “No, I no poopy.”
Me – “Are you lying?”
Emmitt – “I lyin’. Rooooarrr!”

After discussing peanut allergies while making cupcakes for a class party…
Me – “Nolan, you can’t bring your walkie talkies to preschool”
Nolan “Why, are kids ‘llergic to them?”
Me – “yes.”

Nolan wearing a pair of rosary beads around his neck
Steve – “What are you wearing?”
Nolan – “My church necklace from when Emmitt & Greta got married.” (or baptized… whatevs.)

Getting ready for bed
Me – “Emmitt lets put on your pajamas!”
Emmitt – “Daddy frowed them away.”
Me – “Are you lying?
Emmitt – “I lying… Roaarrr!”

On taco tuesday…
Nolan – “Emmitt I’ll show you how to make a taco. First you put the circle thing on a flat surface.” (love hearing new vocabulary that you wouldn’t expect from him!)

While Nolan’s favorite adjective is “soaking”, Emmitt has some new slang himself. He suddenly uses the word “Heavy” for anything that is big.

While feeding him yogurt because I don’t feel like changing his clothes one more time today…
Emmitt – “I want a heavy bite.”

During a temper tantrum at Nolan’s preschool pick up…
Emmitt – “I want a heavy cracker”
Me – “Here is a graham cracker.”
Emmitt – (throws cracker in my face) No! A HEAVY CRACKER!
Me – “This is the heaviest cracker I have.
(other parents staring)

While I was at Tedeschi’s buying a 9 volt battery for the new walkie talkies, Steve texted to say that Emmitt told him that he swallowed one of the balls to the Hungry Hungry Hippos game. When I got home I asked him…
Me – “Emmitt did you eat the red ball?”
Emmitt – “No!”
Me – “Are you lying?!”
Emmitt – “I lyin’ ROAR!”

I usually can’t stand when people write stuff like this as facebook statuses… because I secretly don’t think their kids actually say stuff that funny. But, now that my kids are getting older, it’s like every other sentence is hysterical. If anything, I am writing this stuff here so I can look back on it someday and laugh!

Imagine what some of our favorite TV shows from childhood would be like if they were set in modern times? Here is how different would things be…

The Waltons

Good Night John-Boy

It took the Walton family about an hour to say goodnight to each other at the end of each episode. In this day and age, Daddy would have invested in a good family plan and each kid would have their own iPhone. They could just send out a group text…

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Punky Brewster
Back in the day Punky Brewster was considered to have pretty far out style. Her choice of attire and unique individuality wouldn’t even be considered unique these days! Punky would be “Normal Brewster”

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Little House on the Prairie

First Carrie would have been wearing a helmet while playing on the hill… Preventing any brain damage that occurred in filming the opening credits.

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Nellie Oleson, the biggest brat in the history of television, would have been in some sort of sensitivity training by the end of season one based on the new bullying laws.

Nellie would have no basis for her snobbery, because the Oleson’s general store would have gone under as soon as the new Target went up in Walnut Grove. On the other hand, Harriet Olson would surely have her own reality TV show similar to Dance Moms or something.

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What were your favorite TV shows growing up? How would they be different today?

In an effort to supplement our income and establish a revenue stream that will allow me to stay home forever with my children, I have been brainstorming some new business ideas. I know I’ll always have http://www.peggottyprints.com, but it couldn’t hurt to have some other ways to earn money.

Scituate Turkey Tours – So, I am going to decorate my minivan to look like a giant turkey (then the turkey’s won’t be scared when we drive right up to them and gawk at them). It’s kind of like the TMZ bus tours in Hollywood, only better. I can guarantee sitings on Lawson Rd. & the West End… but the only pit fall is that I will only have two seats available once all my children are in the van with me. I’m going to have to look into getting some sort of trailer with folding chairs duct taped to it.

Lettuce Stand – I’m seriously considering applying for a peddlers license at town hall and opening up a lettuce stand right outside Maria’s during the summer. I’ll charge $2 per handful and out-of-towners will eat it up!

Portable Man Caves – Kind of like those Bouncy Houses you rent for kids parties… these would be little trailers stocked with beer, tv’s (with the NFL Sunday ticket), video games, buffalo wings, etc. You could rent it for your husband and it would be like a little spa day for him.

iPhone Dealer – Looking into buying iPhone’s and spray painting them gold and selling them on the internet.

Fitscaping – I’m hoping to start a new fitness craze that involves training clients by means of landscaping (my yard). Fat burning activities include push mowing my lawn, hauling brush, & shoveling mulch. Clients will pay me to do my yardwork.

A Weight Watchers Program for Pets – Once you get in shape with Fitscape, you are going to want your pets to lead a healthy lifestyle too. I am currently working on a point system for pets looking to lose a few pounds. Baby carrots will definitely be zero points… so go crazy Frances.

Disposable Socks for Infants & Toddlers – They are always losing them anyways. So, why not just accept it. I’m developing a prototype using paper towels as the textile.

Finger Nail Whisperers – These would be trained finger nail technicians that travel to your house after bath time to cut your toddler’s finger nails. They would bring props to distract your flailing child. I know my kids would totally go for it if they brought an old DVD of Cars and a powerwheels with a dead battery to sit in when they clip their nails. Picture Snip Itz, but with finger nails. Oh, wait maybe I should call it Clip Itz.

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This was probably ridiculously time consuming to calculate and I love it. People that are willing to do weird stuff like this are awesome. He wasn’t solving the national debt problem, ending world hunger or finding a cure for a fatal disease, but it was pretty cool to see how insane that montage to “Gonna Fly Now” really was. There is no way Rocky ran that far in his training run… it totaled over 30 miles! 30 miles and he still had energy to jump around with little kids the end… I think not.

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