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Inspired by one of my favorite movies of all time, you could be a member of Troop Beverly Hills. All you need is lots of Khaki, a green scarf & beret, fanny pack with a water bottle, a back pack… March through the streets of your hometown singing “gather round you friends of mine… We are wilderness girls and it’s cookie time!” And you are guaranteed to get a few chuckles from other 30 something mothers.

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Plagued with conjunctivitis for Halloween? Turn it into a costume! You could be a viewer of the 2013 VMA music awards. Miley’s performance was so dirty & disgusting it could cause eye infections. Maybe walk around staring at an iPad continuously playing Miley’s performance only to look up at each door step to say “trick or treat.” It’s guaranteed to gross some people out.

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Going to a couples costume party? Why not be Amber & Gary! It’s everyone’s favorite couple from teen mom. Grab a flat brim authentic baseball hat, pencil in a sculpted beard, stuff a pillow under a too small t-shirt and let those jeans sag low for the perfect Gary Shirley costume. Liberally apply some eye make up, don’t shower for a few days, and throw on a striped prisoners uniform for the Amber Portwood look. If you really want to play the part of Amber, every few minutes just close your eyes, rub your temples and yell “Geeaarry! Geary! Just stop!”

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Okay you probably have a lot of these things around the house… A hand knit hat, apron, vintage dress, chevron stationary, a keep calm & carry on coffee mug, retro reading glasses, boots, a satchel containing mason jars, handmade jewelry, baby tutus, home made crayons using bees wax, a hand stitch monster doll using recycled fabrics…. You know, stuff like that. And when people ask what you are. Just respond “I am Etsy.”

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Everybody dresses up like celebrities for Halloween… But no one ever dresses like the paparazzi! Throw on a backwards hat, vest, sneakers and carry a camera with a bright flash. Snap away & shout things like “This way! Please just one photo?! Turn to me! Please!”

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Recycle those super long CVS receipts by wrapping yourself up into a mummy! Buy a pack of gum & deodorant and you’ll probably get a receipt long enough to cover your whole body.

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